Everyday Leaders Unfiltered (Aired 03-24-26) Stop Performing, Start Living: The Truth About Authenticity at Work with April Williams

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I'm Dr. Dante Vaughn, business strategist, culture architect, guide to leaders who want more than status. Leadership isn't just glossy headlines and perfect wins. On Everyday Leaders Unfiltered, we bring you honest conversations about what happens behind the curtain. The real setbacks, the real pivots, real growth from culture shifts to personal mastery, from trust crises to team turnarounds. This is where leaders get raw, real, and ready. Because a leader who's unfiltered might just become unforgettable. Welcome to Everyday Leaders Unfiltered, the show where we uncover the truth behind leadership identity and what it really means to take growth into today's world. I'm your host, Dr. Dante Vaughn, and today we're diving into a conversation many professionals live through quietly. The pressure to be polished, perfect, and endlessly put together. Our guest, April Williams, known for for her dynamic leadership, is timely as a respected realtor serving the Atlanta metro area. She has built her success not just on her industry expertise, but on her ability to create trust, connection, and clarity with every client she serves. But behind that success is a deeply human story, one about authenticity, belonging, and the courage to stop performing and start showing up as yourself. April, welcome to the show. [00:01:51] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:01:52] Speaker A: I'm so excited. Yeah, I'm so excited to have you. You know, as you know that so often leaders are having these conversations with themselves or behind closed doors. But having a platform where we can have these candid conversations, share our journeys and our experiences, and provide some insight and perspective that can help others is what this is all about. So welcome to the show. [00:02:21] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you. [00:02:22] Speaker A: Today, we begin with a simple but powerful truth. Many leaders feel pressured to look perfect even when it costs them their peace. So I want to step into that story together. I want to begin with the topic around what many viewers have shared. They feel they must hide parts of themselves to at work just to be accepted. [00:02:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:47] Speaker A: That pressure builds quietly and then over time, it shapes their confidence, their identity, and emotional well being. So I want to start with a question. Can you share a time when you felt like you had to be perfect? And I use that in quotations. Right. Instead of being your true self at work. [00:03:07] Speaker B: Yeah. I think we all suffer from those experiences or have all had those experiences in different times of our lives. Personally, professionally, I've been there plenty of times. And when you are being somebody you're not, it does for me end up becoming. It's not sustainable. And eventually you do have to release who you really are in order to become what you need to be. And so, you know, when you're very young and impressionable and you're in your 20s, trying to get through your career and become who you are, you're trying on many different hats. You don't know who you are specifically. And I like to point out that decade in your 20s, you're really trying to figure it out. And I love when I cross the threshold, but I also like watching people who are not there yet because of all the different hats, whether it's like trying to figure out what I want to do professionally, how I want to approach that professionally, but it's almost like this golden ticket when you arrive in your early 30s, where you just kind of feel like, oh, that feels good. That's who I am. And I am now going to show up who as. Who I am in order to be as my professional, my do my best professionally. But I think we're all fearful of doing that at first because we're all trying to make companies happy, make leaders happy. We're all trying to fit in and just the overall conversation if we don't know who we are quite yet. And then when we finally figure out who we are, encourage everyone to do that. So I remember having that feeling coming into real estate because I am a career changer. And the imposter syndrome was real. And it was more so because I didn't have the skills yet. And I was like, I feel confident. I've always been a confident woman, but I don't know exactly how to transact. I don't know the logistics behind this career. And so I felt like an imposter for a very long time. And I was looking to other people to figure it out. And I realized I was trying to show up as them and realized once I get this skillset down pack, I am going to bring my full, authentic self in order to succeed, because my peace is everything. [00:05:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:18] Speaker B: And I have to sleep like a baby at night. And I can only sleep like a baby at night when I'm showing up as myself. [00:05:22] Speaker A: I love that. So. So I want to unpack that because you, you said something, something very powerful. And I think many individuals experience no matter where they are in their career, and that's this imposter syndrome. So I want to unpack that. But let's start with this career transition that you navigated. Tell us a little bit about that transition and how did you wound up in real estate and down this journey of your true self? [00:05:51] Speaker B: Yeah. And I've shared this story before because I was one of those folks thinking, going to college was my golden ticket to any and everything. That's what I grew up knowing and was told. And I hustled very hard academically and did not know that I had the permission to switch careers, switch directions if I wanted to. I really thought it was uphill trajectory and you pick a career and you stick with it. And then when things started to feel very uncomfortable in my last career and I was in education, um, I was wrestling with a lot internally and it didn't feel good anymore. And I'm like, what is this? And I'm supposed to continue this. I was actually gonna follow your footsteps and begin pursuing my PhD, but something really held me back. And so I was like, I wanna change careers. But at that time I felt like I needed permission to, because I didn't know that was allowed. And so I finally gave myself permission. And it took a lot of back and forth internally to jump off that cliff and do it. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I hear you saying is giving ourselves permission to be and follow what's pulling us to be our true, authentic version of ourselves in this time in our life is essential. I think it's powerful when we say give ourselves permission because to your point, we're trying to meet a standard that we haven't set. We're trying to align with some expectation that either someone else or society has placed on what that looks like. But to your point, authenticity comes from something that's deeper than a standard that someone else set for us. [00:07:40] Speaker B: I literally just got goosebumps with you saying that. I got goosebumps because the societal standards, the standards our parents place on us, those expectations. And then when you finally inherit your own and you realize what's for you, what isn't for you, and it takes a lot of self discovery to get your own standards and being able to operate in that world. [00:08:00] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Vulnerability, the courage. Something was pulling on you where you're comfortabilities in academia or education works, compromise. But it took something, some moments. What was that catalyst where you said, you know what? It's time. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Oh, God, it was such a. It probably was over a summer. It was, you know, during some of the rough times during the pandemic. And I, I think I was naive for a while when I decided to go into education because most folks who are in that industry, in that career, they're literally there and they're running off a passion. They truly want to make a difference, they truly want to help, they truly want to mentor, they truly believe in what we're doing and it was like a slow awakening when I just watched different decisions being made at the leadership level that didn't feel like it was no longer student focused. And that kept me up at night because I was always that person, like, well, what about the students and how is this going to affect the students? And when the students were starting to leave conversations, I was like, aren't we all here for the students? Isn't that why we're here? And then realizing that some of these places are ran like businesses was really disheartening. And I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. And I wanted to be able to transition out but still carry that educational piece with me. And I'm still in contact with a lot of my former students and I'm still able to mentor and transact with them now in real estate. But it was definitely a rude awakening. And it hit me like a brick wall. It literally was like overnight. And I woke up and I was like, oh, capitalism. [00:09:47] Speaker A: Right? Right. [00:09:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:49] Speaker A: So many of our viewers have either experienced something similar or are actively in that place where there's the revelation that something needs to change, or I'm no longer in alignment from a value system standpoint or from a purpose driven standpoint, or both. But there's also this balance, right. Where those same pools are stifled by the perspective around responsibility and obligations and survival and survival. Right. Even in the context of survival of the relationships that we believe hold us to, the things that we shouldn't be held to. How did you or what did you do that enabled you to overcome those fears? In walking into something so, so new [00:10:52] Speaker B: and different, it was scary. I did it while scared. I didn't overcome the fear. It was more so like I had to really make friends with it and realize this was coming with me and it wasn't something to get rid of. And I knew I was taking a risk. The risk of disappointing people, the risk of losing people, the risk of having a lot of opinions come my way that may not be in favor of what I was going to do. But I, at that point was becoming so much stronger in my own inner knowing that I was strong enough to just realize, April, it's going to take major relationship changes and a new environment, new relationships, in order to achieve what I want to achieve. So as I was deciding to career change, I already knew I was going to lose relationships, and that was scary at first. But I also realized life is such a journey, and I don't think everybody's meant to come with you every step along the way. Of your journey. And I think people serve tremendously in different seasons of your life. And so I was like, oh my God. I didn't think I knew it at the beginning, but when I realized some relationships I was dropping or, or people were just walking of my life because people didn't think I. Some people thought I was crazy. It's not that bad in education. Stay here. Real estate. What do you know about business? And there's a lot of people who did not think I was making a good decision, but I had such an inner knowing that I needed to change careers and that I was going to be successful at it. And so a lot of folks were very. And you know, a lot of people projected. A lot of people projected. And I was at first scared I was going to disappoint, but I am my biggest advocate and I don't want to go to bed disappointing myself just because I was trying to please somebody else. [00:12:34] Speaker A: Wow. Wow, that's so many things there, right? Even in the context of sometimes it's those most closest to you who even generally care about you or love you. But the projection, the insecurities that are realized when they watch those closest to them taking a step that they haven't taken or don't know how to take, they would ever or would never. So then it becomes, why are you doing that? That doesn't make any sense. [00:13:05] Speaker B: You're crazy. [00:13:06] Speaker A: How could you do that? [00:13:06] Speaker B: You're crazy. [00:13:08] Speaker A: You know, I remember transitioning out of corporate world figuratively in the context of I'm no longer someone's W2 employee. [00:13:18] Speaker B: Scary jump, isn't it? [00:13:19] Speaker A: Right. And some of the similar kind of perspectives and even personally navigating, you know, are you sure you want to walk away from this six figure executive position to go do a startup now, three startups later, I'm glad I made those leaps. [00:13:39] Speaker B: But leaving the nine to five is one of the hardest things you can ever do. But once you do, it's like you can't look back. You can't unknow and unfeel what you feel once you walk away from the 9 to 5. And that was one of my feelings. I remember outside of it, before I decided it was real estate, I was going to go in. One of the first things I had crossed my brain in my body was I no longer want to work a 9 to 5. But I didn't know what I wanted to do. And when I walked away I was just like, oh, it's tough, it's intense. You're responsible for a lot more you work a lot more hours, but the freedom. [00:14:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:14] Speaker B: I enjoy the freedom of no longer being at a 9 to 5. But not everybody 9 to 5. And the benefits come with so much security. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Sure. [00:14:21] Speaker B: Why would people want to walk away from that? [00:14:23] Speaker A: Sure. [00:14:23] Speaker B: And of course their concern is out of genuine love because they're very scared for you. [00:14:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:14:29] Speaker B: And they would never do it if they were them. But I had so much confidence. Like I knew it's going to be hard. [00:14:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:34] Speaker B: I didn't, I didn't question. I didn't think it was going to be so easy. Let me go ahead and just know I wasn't delusional. [00:14:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:39] Speaker B: But I also was very confident in my capabilities of jumping off and surviving. [00:14:43] Speaker A: So some themes that I heard. I heard you had to first accept mentally, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, that the place that you're in was no longer suited for you. Something was pulling you. So that personal connection to self enough to say, okay, something has to change where I am at. No matter how stable I may feel, no matter what I've established or accomplished as a professional in this space, something pull is pulling on me to make a change. Right. So understanding that, connecting with that and accepting that. Okay, I have to have to dig a little deeper. What is this is essential. And I believe there are many people, our viewers alike, who are having those moments. Now, this doesn't mean everyone start running and quitting their jobs. This means, please, though, be smart about it. Be smart, you know, and. But no matter what it is in their life, relationships they've had for years, but something's telling them that that season has. Has passed and it's time to do something different. Right. So rather it's relationships or circumstances or environments. Leaning into that is. Is one. Is an essential first step. Then there's this idea of the unknown perpetuates fear. But to your point, it's not about overcoming fear, it's about leaning into it. Because those fear responses, this is the IO psych side of me is saying that fear response is healthy and it promotes careful, thoughtful movement into this next phase of our lives. So be leaning into that fear response, understanding what part of it's healthy, what part of it is unhealthy because it's perpetuated by someone else's vision they have for your life or their own insecurities being projected, projected onto you. So you got to filter some of that. Right. But nonetheless, understanding that distinction, you know, I love, you know, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference that discernment and, and what does this fear really mean? Because the things that are meant for us doesn't mean it's going to be easy because I heard that from you. But what's for us is for us. I don't pursue things because I think it's going to be easy. I think I'm pursuing the things that are meant to be right for me. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:18] Speaker A: So I heard all those themes and hearing your, your story of transition into this. [00:17:23] Speaker B: Those things can beat you at the same time. [00:17:25] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. [00:17:25] Speaker B: Fearful. But also know you're doing the right thing. [00:17:27] Speaker A: Yes. [00:17:28] Speaker B: They can coincide and live side by side. [00:17:30] Speaker A: You bet. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:31] Speaker A: And to that point, fear and peace are not one in the same. You can be fearful of the unknown and it perpetuates careful movement. But yet I can be at peace even in the midst of adversity, challenge and unknown. [00:17:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:50] Speaker A: And I tell people that a lot. Right. Checking on your peace in that decision because you will rest easier in that context. I love this. [00:18:00] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:18:02] Speaker A: You know, coming up. Right. I want to explore why authenticity becomes even harder, but also more necessary, whether it's in the workplace or outside of the workplace, especially when we're, when we have these images that people have for us or their perception of what we should be doing. I want to unpack that a bit more, especially the necessity of authenticity as we're moving throughout these phases of our lives. Stay with us. Leadership isn't just glossy headlines and Perfect wins. I'm Dr. Dante Vaughn, business strategist, culture architect, guide to leaders who want more than status. On Everyday Leaders Unfiltered, we bring you honest conversations about what's happening behind the curtain, the real setbacks, real pivots, real growth. From culture shifts to personal mastery, from trust crises to team turnarounds, this is where leaders get raw, real and ready. Everyday Leaders Unfiltered premiere soon on NOW Media Television. Because a leader who's unfiltered might just become unforgettable. Welcome back to Everyday Leaders Unfiltered. I'm your host, Dr. Dante Vaughn, and I'm here with April Williams. As we continue our conversation, we're going to step a little deeper into the tension that many leaders feel, but rarely discuss the workplace rewards of being polished and performative. But honestly, what are the implications when we don't show up as our most authentic selves, especially as a leader of color? Right. The pressure is even heavier. Viewers often feel they must perform their identity in order to fit in right. They rather live in this world of perception that they have to show up a certain way instead of showing up authentically. It creates emotional strain. It creates cultural conflict. And frankly, some of our burnout is the result of not the actual work, but of trying to show up and fit this model or this Persona of what we believe people want to see from us as professionals. So I want to guide some of this dialogue by asking you, April, why do so many individuals and shall I say leaders feel the pressure to stay on brand instead of being honest about who they really are? [00:21:07] Speaker B: Yeah, even you just describing it made me feel exhausted. And the burnout is real. The exhaust that just having to. And especially just culturally with us being minorities and having to, like, we were taught that at a young age, you know, have your phone voice ready. [00:21:22] Speaker A: That's right. [00:21:22] Speaker B: Have, you know, show up, dress well, all that just to make sure we are accepted. The whole work twice as hard to get half as much showing up in certain spaces just so they you don't give anyone else anything extra to speak negatively about. And it's exhausting. It is very exhausting. And I remember, and I'm already very introverted, but I just remember even like afterward getting in my car and just taking that deep breath of just like finally I can kind of just, you know, be me. But I understand the pressure of having to do that. It's society, it's the country that we live in. And I do think I'm. There's some change happening. I think there's some slow change happening, especially as I'm watching these millennials rise to the top in leadership. And they do have a different perspective on what can be accepted into the culture, whether it's the way people dress, the way that people talk, and different skill sets are needed. But I do, I've been very lucky in the sense I've never truly, truly, truly suffered from people pleasing. And I realize that's kind of rare. And I know a lot of people, whether it's professionally or personally, there's a lot of people that I know my world who suffer from that. And I've always had this weird intuitive feeling of self betrayal. And so I've been pretty good at staying who I am. But most of the time when I was working in corporate, that person was. I was probably quiet on the quiet unless I had to raise my voice in advocacy for others. That's typically when I piped up talking about our students, I would pipe up talking about like if I see and just happening, I get very loud. But I tend to, I'm a naturally quiet person, unless you catch me on a one on one that I have a lot to say and. But I do know there's so many people on this planet who are just trying to get by, by fitting in. That is exhausting because then it's that I can imagine what type of inner resentment that builds up and that explosion that eventually happens. And I feel like that happens to a lot of people pleasers because we, people who are not pleasing, we never get a chance to really know who you are authentically because you're just going with the flow when you're saying yes to whatever it is and somebody who loves truth. And I live for truth, I live for authenticity. I want you to show up completely who you are so I can get to know you. But when you hide that and try to fit in with the culture, the company, whatever it is, then I mean, that's different than there's, there's rules and policies we have to follow, but you can still do that being yourself. [00:23:47] Speaker A: So when, when, when I think about what you just shared, there's a sense of belonging that we all strive for at the fundamentally as human beings. And oftentimes this desire to feel a sense of belonging overcomes the urgency or interest in showing up as our most authentic version of ourselves. What's more important in my survival instinct? Is it to connect with this group or is it to acknowledge that the most authentic version of myself may mean that I am ostracized from this group? Not realizing that the most authentic version of yourself will actually attract the group. You're supposed to be individuals. [00:24:42] Speaker B: You took the words right out. How do you. How are you going to find your people right? You have to be yourself in order to find your people right. Which makes you have to learn how to be okay with rejection. That's another thing I never suffered from. Like I was always, until this day. I'm okay with rejection. I'm not for everybody. I'm really not. And I'm okay when someone tells me no, I don't want to be for everybody. My energy is already, you know, finite and I can't be there for everybody and be everyone's friend. I, and I'm actually okay with people really not liking me. It's only because I'm very confident in what I bring to the table. I bring value to every single space, whether it's in real estate, whether it's professional, I mean personally, whether it's just socially like, I bring value and because I know I bring value I'm okay with being rejected because I'm like, oh, I'm not meant for you. [00:25:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:31] Speaker B: But the second you start really giving the world your authentic self, you will find your people. [00:25:36] Speaker A: It's interesting you say that. It took me. It took me some time to arrive at the place of accepting the. No, accepting the rejection. And oftentimes the adverse reaction to rejection not only connects to belonging, but to trauma. [00:25:58] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Triggered. [00:26:00] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:00] Speaker B: Instantly triggered. [00:26:01] Speaker A: It's triggering. And it took me a while to understand that. Right. So to compensate for that, now we're just holding and grabbing on to whomever express interest in what we're saying or who we project ourselves to be. Not really in this pursuit of the authentic virgin. And the irony is that individual is in the same spot where we're all. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Yes. We're all grasping. [00:26:30] Speaker A: All grasping. [00:26:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:26:32] Speaker A: The irony of that. Right. And to the point how exactly exhausting it can be. You know, recently, more so than ever, I've adopted this, especially at the. More I'm on this thought leadership or speaker platform is I've embraced this premise of disruption. And part of it has been because I started to recognize that certain rooms I entered, I immediately was disruptive. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:27:00] Speaker A: Without opening my mouth, without even saying anything. [00:27:03] Speaker B: It's a matter like, scratch the record. Like, yeah. [00:27:05] Speaker A: And it's like, so. Oh, my goodness. The very thing that has perpetuated my disruption is something I actually want to lean into more. Because that's where my power, my gift actually is. [00:27:15] Speaker B: Because your disruption was like a superpower. [00:27:17] Speaker A: Yes. [00:27:17] Speaker B: Walking into those rooms at first, it's probably scary. [00:27:20] Speaker A: Yes. [00:27:20] Speaker B: That you caused. But you. You brought attention. It was disruption. But the disruption is also attention. [00:27:25] Speaker A: Yes. [00:27:26] Speaker B: To lean into it. [00:27:26] Speaker A: Yes. So let's. Let's. Let's talk about that. You know, how does a person lean into whatever personal perception they have, that whatever authentic version of themselves will be disruptive to their environment no matter what it is, or relationships, rather, it's family or friends or the workplace. How does a person move with the, you know, acceptance of. Of the fact that they could potentially disrupt the norms of their lives? [00:28:02] Speaker B: I think that's gonna start back to values. Like, I feel like you can't be. You can't lean into it the way that you've described leaning into it without actually knowing what your values are. Because when you're sturdy in your values, it gives you so much confidence for you to even have the power to say yes or no. This is for me. This is not for me. And being able to stand 10 toes down in the middle of your disruption and still know I'm doing this with such purpose. And I may be ruffling some feathers, but I know I know what I know and I'm confident in what I'm knowing. So I think it goes back to knowing your values and having confidence. I think another thing that I benefit from, although I used to think it was going to harm me, is my introversion. And so the fact that I like to stay alone and I'm very. So even going back to rejection, the reason why I've never had a hard time, a hard reaction to rejection, because it's always like, well, I got me, I got me. I'm gonna go kick it with myself. And I love hanging out with myself because I do a lot of internal validation. And it's not an egotistical. I think I'm right. It's more of a. I sit, I reflect, I assess, I do tons and tons of reading to where a lot of that feels like great armor to when I do go out in the real world, I am comfortable in saying no or disrupting because it's not coming from an emotional tantrum place, but it's coming from, I'm assessing this and this is wrong, or I'm assessing this and we can do better, or I'm assessing this and this needs to be, you know, disrupted in somehow. So I don't, you know, I'm also a middle child, so we're known for being a little disruptive. Well, you know, it's always the second child. [00:29:44] Speaker A: I love that. I love that. So, so many things come to mind for me. But there's some work involved in this. [00:29:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:29:56] Speaker A: There's a lot of self work and investment in showing up authentically, you know, that has more to do with us than the people around us. [00:30:09] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:30:10] Speaker A: So as we talk about disruption. Disruption is only in the context of someone else's perception or perspective. It has nothing to do with us. And I had to recognize that, no, this is my norm. This is your disruption. [00:30:27] Speaker B: Your confidence in your disruption is triggering them. [00:30:31] Speaker A: Yes. [00:30:31] Speaker B: It has nothing to do with. It's bringing them something. It's also kind of going back to. Because I will never forget when this whole concept and these trending of black boy joy and watching just things online, trending and folks, the Karens were coming out and calling folks. It was because of the audacity, the audacity of this culture to be enjoying themselves. The audacity for them to have joy, the audacity for them to show up and Disrupt and dance and sing. How dare they? Because that person who feels that way never got permission. They didn't give themselves permission, so they feel away. [00:31:04] Speaker A: That's right. [00:31:05] Speaker B: And so the more you show up your authentic self and you're able to disrupt, you may ruffle some feathers, but the other ones are looking back and you're inspiring them like, oh, my God, he can do it. I should let me take off this armor. Let me take off this mask, and I can also do it, too. But people will look at you like, the audacity of this man to be so disruptive and to be so confident about it. [00:31:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. So. So there's some hard truths as we talk about the courage and. And confidence that we build in ourselves. To the extent that we are leaning into this idea of disruption in order to be our most authentic versions of ourselves. How does that translate to the workplace? And what would you say are some tangible steps that an individual could take with also balancing the reality of I can't kick in the, you know, boardroom door and, you know, throw my middle finger up at everybody and say, you know what? I'm screw all y' all in my inauthentic, you know, representation of myself, and if you don't like me the way you see me, then all of y' all can do, you know what? [00:32:19] Speaker B: I choose the thoughts. [00:32:20] Speaker A: Right. So short of that, like, what are some steps that individuals could take gradually to start to lean into this. This pursuit? [00:32:29] Speaker B: Well, one, I am a big component of communication. We have to learn how to communicate with ourselves, but also with others. I don't like the entitlement is real of I should have or why didn't I get such and such. Well, did you communicate your need? Did you talk about your. Your goals, your trajectory? And so I think in order to just communication, communicating with yourself, because you also want to show up as authentically as you can, but you also don't want to leave the workplace feeling disappointed. Like, did I cross off all the boxes? It's almost like when the ball is in your court, you have to make sure you do all that you can before you toss it back to someone else. And so being accountable, being very much accountable, because. And this is in the workplace, and this is in friendships, this is in family relationships. You have to be as authentic and know that you communicated your needs and you communicated your goals, and you're doing it in an authentic way. Check to say, make sure those are your goals. Make sure they're not your mom's goals. Make sure they're not your best friend's goals. Make sure it's not your leadership goal, like, whatever it is, and do it in a way that makes you feel comfortable. So when you go home at night, even if the person who's on the receiving end of your communication, you can't be concerned about their reaction. You can't be concerned of, are they gonna, like, did I word my goals correctly? Did I communicate well? Was I, did they like it? Should I have done such and such? No. Were you true to yourself? And so I just think communication is a big part of that. And you can't be fearful of what. Because the reaction is honestly none of your business. The way that they react to you is absolutely none of your business. You would hope that the reaction becomes a. Like you're communicating, becomes a collaborative effort as far as whether it's in the workplace or I'm uncomfortable that this needs to change. Hopefully you're being listened to. But if not, is that not an indication or a sign that you may not be in the right place? [00:34:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I hear you say communication is fundamental, right? To any human relationship. And there's ownership that we have in how we articulate what we need in order to be the best version of ourselves. [00:34:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:39] Speaker A: And the most authentic version of ourselves is the best version of ourselves. So first, accepting that and then for putting words to action first internally, what does this mean for me to be authentic? What are the facades, the mask, or the thoughts that I've ignored writing that down. Having a personal one on one conversation with ourselves or our subconscious to really articulate that and understand it for ourselves. Because our capacity to then translate that to anyone else is limited. If we haven't made it make sense to us. [00:35:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:20] Speaker A: So once we make it make sense to us, then find those opportunities. Rather, it's in the workplace or in the relationships outside of work to say, okay, I'm in this pursuit, this pursuit to be the best version of myself, which means I need the most be the most authentic version of myself. I am who I am. And you, your acceptance of that has nothing to do with this pursuit. [00:35:42] Speaker B: Nope. [00:35:43] Speaker A: Therefore, here's what that looks like. And it may start with some simple steps. Okay, here's my approach to how I start my morning. And for me to be the best version of myself, I need to do these things. And frankly, your approach to how you want me to start my morning doesn't work for me anymore. Here's what that looks like. Right? The subtle things. Right. And okay, so, Barb, I Don't want to talk at the coffee maker at 7:30. When I just walked in the door, [00:36:17] Speaker B: I actually knew who I am. You're disrupting. [00:36:19] Speaker A: I want to go to my office with my cup of coffee, get my mind set on the day. And I will be glad to have that conversation with you. [00:36:27] Speaker B: Absolutely. When I'm better for it, when I [00:36:29] Speaker A: know better, when I'm better. Right. So it's the subtleties in that, because that also starts to help you get better, manage the things that you're experiencing that create the sense of burnout, that create the sense of misalignment. Sometimes the work that we're doing is exactly what we should be doing. But it's all these other circumstances that require so much energy from us that's contrary to where our energy should be placed. [00:36:56] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. And there's a process to everything, because even like coming into real estate, there is a process to do things and you adopt the process. [00:37:03] Speaker A: Yes. [00:37:04] Speaker B: Because it does work. [00:37:04] Speaker A: Yes. [00:37:05] Speaker B: The process to become successful in real estate does work, but once you know the formula, you have to take it and make it your own. [00:37:11] Speaker A: Yes. Right. [00:37:12] Speaker B: Because like you said, some folks are morning people, some are night owls. How do I adjust the process so that it fits my routines, my needs? And it takes a little while to get into it. [00:37:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Once you figure it out. But you have to be very authentic to that. [00:37:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:25] Speaker B: Because then you'll be resentful trying to chase someone else's processing. You don't fit necessarily in their box. And like you said, the burnout becomes real. [00:37:31] Speaker A: I love that. So, so we're, we're discussing so many, just like morsels of greatness and insight. I want to provide to our viewers some insight into, you know, if they want to connect with you in some capacity. Rather it's for your real estate or for leadership coaching or all the things that you do. Where can they find you? [00:37:55] Speaker B: So I am on LinkedIn. First name, last name April Williams. I am also on Instagram. My Instagram handle is A Y E underscore Renee R E N A E. My email address is April Williams and I serve on one of the best, if not the best, real estate groups in Atlanta, the Justin Landis Group. And so April Williams at justin austin landisgroup.com I'm always open to conversations, whether it's about real estate, whether about career transitioning, whether about just growth. Like I'm always available. [00:38:31] Speaker A: Yes. [00:38:31] Speaker B: And I'm also going to be incredibly daring in this moment and give out my cell number if you want to Reach me directly. I am originally from California, so my ar code is 909-583-1365. [00:38:44] Speaker A: Awesome. Awesome, I love that. So as we transition to our next segment, you know, up next, going to talk about how leaders can turn authenticity into power, even in environments that feel very rigid, very image driven. So stay tuned. Leadership isn't just glossy headlines and Perfect wins. I'm Dr. Dante Vaughn, business strategist, culture architect, guide to leaders who want more than status. On Everyday Leaders Unfiltered, we bring you honest conversations about what's happening behind the curtains. Real setbacks, real pivots, real growth. From culture shifts to personal mastery, from trust crises to team turnarounds. This is where leaders get raw, real and ready. Everyday Leaders Unfiltered premiere soon on NOW Media Television. Because a leader who's unfiltered might just become unforgettable. Welcome back to Everyday Leaders Unfiltered. In this segment, we shift to the leadership lens, the moment where authenticity becomes not just personal, but strategic. When everything around you feels curated, filtered and image focused, staying grounded as a leader becomes both your challenge and your strategic advantage. When I think about conversations I've had with our viewers and just clients and fellow leaders, many want to lead with honesty, with, with heart, with openness, but they fear that authenticity may hurt their credibility or even the opportunities that they have before them. I mean, I've, I've second thought so many conversations or even post like, you know, oh, if I say this, this is how I really feel, but if I say this, is that going to hurt my opportunity to get in the door of this. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:06] Speaker A: Organization or, or partner with this person? So this tension often drives leaders into just, look, I'm just going to get into performance mode, do what I need to do because I got to survive. [00:41:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:19] Speaker A: So, so, so I want to, I want to start this segment with a question around how can leaders stay true to themselves even when the workplace or their work environment or the clients that they're working with feels very curated? Their image is curated, how they show up is curated, their relationships are curated or very like, image focused. Like, I have to show up this way to succeed. [00:41:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's a tough one. I think a lot of people are facing that right now. I think the answer to that is probably, probably results. I almost feel like I've given myself permission to be completely myself. I have mastered something. When I bring results to the table, when I bring value, it's almost like the, the green light to tell people, leave me alone, I'm going to come in when I want to come in, I'm going to do what I want to do. But like I look at the scoreboard, [00:42:18] Speaker A: look at the scoreboard. [00:42:19] Speaker B: Like I'm, I'm bringing in value and I'm doing it my way. And of course, if you're coming into a company that's new or changing careers and people don't know you right away, they don't know what it is that you can do. So it is a matter of trying to connect and figure things out. And okay, this feels very curated. Do I gotta be like this? I gotta be like this person? Do I have to show up? Okay, they're all doing this. Do I have to show up to the social gathering? Do I need to show like, what is it? And it's just kind of like, okay, make a couple of connections. Because I will say this, I am also an advocate for having some type of support in the workplace. And so if you're somebody who has a, finds it challenging connecting or you desire to be so authentic and you're not so ready yet to be that authentic and that raw up front, find somebody in that workplace that you can do that with. Because you always want somebody who's going to be in the room who can advocate for you while you're not there. [00:43:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:12] Speaker B: Because you may not have the bandwidth to make that authentic connection company wide or off the bat and be raw. But like do it with a couple people, start very, very small. But also while you're making those authentic connections and you're being raw and real, don't focus on just that, focus on the job itself and prove that you're worthy. And I hate it. Sounds bad. They're proven that you're worthy, but you're there to do a job. So make sure you remind them of why you're there and why they hired you. Because you can. You're results driven. [00:43:44] Speaker A: Yes. [00:43:44] Speaker B: And that makes it easier for you to be authentic in the workplace. [00:43:47] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I think that's spot on. What I hear you saying is, look, and you know, if I grew up in the Northeast, I'm a Philly native. You got Philly, you got New York, you got Jersey. We used to say a lot, show improve. Yeah, right. And because at the end of the day, your credibility, your authority is rested in how your results connect to your claims and to your point, the more that I can validate the power in my capacity and whatever role I'm filling at that moment, the more inclined I am to be confident in who I am. And what I bring to the table and, and, and no doubt about it, my swag. I'm gonna move a little differently to then the person who to your point hasn't proven their worth to your point their insecurities there. So that makes complete sense to me. So for our viewers it's important I go back to the faith side of my walk. Faith without works. There's still some work to do. You have to put in the effort to be great at what it is that you profess to be great at. [00:45:14] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:45:15] Speaker A: Because, because that equips you with the confidence necessary to be the most authentic version of yourself. [00:45:23] Speaker B: Yeah. It gives you confidence. [00:45:24] Speaker A: Yeah, no doubt about it. And the other thing that stood out to me and what you shared is relationship. And sometimes it starts with that one individual where you can say look like this is the. I'm going to be vulnerable here and give you insight into the most authentic version of myself as I'm learning the ropes and in the culture here and how my authentic self fits into that culture. And those advocates that you start to establish in the workplace serve a significant purpose for oneself and for them who's also in a similar pursuit. And I can't think of a time when I was in the corporate world. And even now as an entrepreneur or business leader of my own, I have always had advocates around me, individuals who are there to remind you when you drift from the most authentic version of yourself. I'll never forget. Shout out to Lynn Hoban. I'll never forget I was in an, in a newly established executive role. I think it was my first VP of sales and operations role. And I remember sitting in the boardroom one I had an advocate or had a couple advocates in the business who even thought that I was worth the risk as this wet behind the ears 20 something year old executive. But beyond that, my insecurities and my desire to just be accepted and fit in and fill this, this void I had in my own self worth and acceptance. Imposters. [00:47:14] Speaker B: I was gonna say that. Yep, yep. [00:47:15] Speaker A: I would sit at the conference table and I'll never forget I would get really when I wanted my point to be heard and, and, and, and, and and validated. I would get very preachy when we were trying to argue certain strategic directives or points of why we should invest in XYZ and I'd get more animated. My voice would actually increase and project in really a less than productive way. And I remember receiving that feedback from a couple executives around the table. But Lynn Hoeven and it crushed Me, because I'm already insecure. [00:47:54] Speaker B: I love good feedback, though. [00:47:55] Speaker A: Exact. The feedback. Give me the feedback. Right. [00:47:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:58] Speaker A: So. So I. I'm. I'm this new executive. I'm trying to prove myself. And I'll never forget getting this feedback one from my.1 of my advocates who said, listen, Dante, some of what you're saying would actually, you know, be accepted by this group. But because you exhibit these other behaviors and because you aren't being. Giving yourself enough pause to really think through how you're trying to articulate your point of view and seeking to understand more people believe an alternative path is right, you're losing an opportunity to have a power. Yes. So it was delivery. And give myself enough patience to even ask. So I hear why this is important to you. Help me understand why, because then I have a better capacity to articulate why my point may also solve for something. They're trying to solve the listening piece too. So the listening. Your best communication. Yeah. Tool is. Is your ears, your active listening skills. So that was feedback I received. And I remember I felt so crushed. Now here's. [00:49:03] Speaker B: You would naturally. [00:49:04] Speaker A: Yeah, but here's the. And I've learned now to accept. [00:49:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:09] Speaker A: The rejection of. Of the individual I was trying to project because that was not fully my authentic self. It was my. [00:49:16] Speaker B: You're learning who you were, though. [00:49:17] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:18] Speaker B: And so you thought I have to have this delivery in order to get my point across, in order to be heard. [00:49:23] Speaker A: Correct. [00:49:24] Speaker B: Like. Yeah. It takes a while to figure out what. [00:49:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:26] Speaker B: Y. So shout out to the person. [00:49:29] Speaker A: Shout out to Joe. And I think it was Joe and others, but Joe was that person. [00:49:34] Speaker B: Courage to deliver that to you. [00:49:36] Speaker A: Yes, it did. And. But. But shout out to Lynn specifically on the conversation around authenticity. So she was the balance to that. And here's what. Here's how. So I felt defeated in that moment and. And beyond that moment because I didn't know. Well, then how do I show up not realizing that you don't have to show up as anything other than yourself that got you to the table. And then you learn in practice. This is the work. Like you said. You read, you research, you self reflect, you learn. Well, I can still polish. [00:50:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Refine. [00:50:09] Speaker A: Yes, refine. Thank you. The authentic version of myself. Don't get those two things twisted. The feedback Joe was giving me was, you need to refine. Whereas Lynn said, but don't not be the Dante that got you to the table. I wasn't Dr. Vaughn. I wasn't any of that. I was Dante who got me to that Got you to the table. Your energy, your tenacity, your veracity. When it matters, when it counts. My passion. Those things I allow to be seen, stifled because of my insecurities about the feedback I received. And she said, no, no, no. You come in this room with that same. Because I will come to the meeting. [00:50:53] Speaker B: So it's like they were both right. [00:50:54] Speaker A: They both were nice. [00:50:55] Speaker B: You needed both ingredients to, like. Yeah. [00:50:57] Speaker A: You have to be okay with failing. [00:50:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:00] Speaker A: Accepting that someone rejected your delivery. [00:51:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:03] Speaker A: And reject. And you're stifling yourself. But you need to also understand that refining the authentic version of yourself is okay. [00:51:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:12] Speaker A: But be authentic. [00:51:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:13] Speaker A: Because I lost the 10 in the room. I lost what they had become, what they. Why. Why I was invited in the room in the first place. [00:51:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:23] Speaker A: So that was phenomenal feedback that I carry with me, you know, 15 years later. [00:51:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:29] Speaker A: And I still talk about. And I think it's 15 years later, and I still talk about that defining moment. Now for you, what was that defining moment where you realized that, oh, my goodness, the most authentic version of myself was always the right place for me to be? [00:51:51] Speaker B: My defining moment for as far as following my gut intuition with my authentic self was my career change. [00:51:57] Speaker A: Okay. [00:51:58] Speaker B: That took a lot because it was a lot of questioning, a lot of, like. And kind of going back to what you said, beginning this conversation as far as discernment and knowing the difference between certain things. Because I. I'm a former. Like I was. I grew up in the dance studio, so ballet, tap, jazz. So I'm somebody who can receive criticism. I could receive feedback. So give it to me because I want to hear. I like to refine. I like to grow. That's my thing. So I remember trying to figure out the discernment when everybody was weighing in on my career change and don't do it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I remember there was one moment when I was like, the only people who are allowed to weigh in and give me their opinion on my career change was people who take risks and people who are entrepreneurs. Because if you're not one of those two, you cannot weigh in. And I remember I woke up in the middle of the night because it was a lot of this coming in, and it was coming from places of concern, Love rejection. But it was one of those moments. I was like, oh, no. Like, you would never do what I would do, so why would I even. You can't project on me. [00:53:02] Speaker A: That's so. So, April, I gotta stop you there for a second, because that's deep And I think our viewers need to chew on that for a second because this applies in every aspect of our life. In our desire to take the next step and build the confidence and courage we seek, the perspectives and insights of those closest to us. Just because they're close to us in proximity does not mean that they are equipped to provide us with any perspective or insight or even recommendation. [00:53:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:36] Speaker A: Why are you talking to your three times divorced family member about your marriage? Why are you talking to your homeboy [00:53:46] Speaker B: who's at the same job for 40 years? [00:53:50] Speaker A: Why are we talking about the person who would never take this step? [00:53:55] Speaker B: Are they qualified or are they to wait, do they have to be qualified? And that goes back to being okay with losing people in my life because I, I literally when I transition, I started from scratch, like as far as people in my life because I was like, wait a second. All of these opinions that are supposed to rattle me and it's uncomfortable. Let me go out there and find entrepreneurs. Let me go out there. People who. How do you think you and I met? [00:54:19] Speaker A: That's right. [00:54:20] Speaker B: I knew that you were about like, yeah, your own stuff. How do I grow, how do I develop, how to make an impact doing my own stuff without being a nine to fiverr. So I was so intentional, even going back to you saying, having the advocates in the room. I, I am people, I think really sleep on the skill set of. Skill set of relationship building. I think that is number one for any industry that you're in. Do you know how to build a relationship? And so when I started in real estate, it felt like I had zero relationship. And that was on purpose because I realized I only want people in my life who are entrepreneurs, who take risks, who are owners of small businesses, who are. I need that people, those type because I need that circle. I want that encouragement, I want that energy. I enjoy their opinions. I remember even during the election year. Yeah, like business went down just a tad. [00:55:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:12] Speaker B: Yeah, just a tad. And I remember just having, because I stay in contact with all my folks, you know, just networking and making phone calls. Every entrepreneur said, oh yeah, this checks. Every election year happens. [00:55:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:22] Speaker B: Every election year, no business dies down. Gets a little slow for everybody. No matter what industry they're in. [00:55:27] Speaker A: That's right. They're fearful. What does this new administration. [00:55:30] Speaker B: Oh, this is my first election year in business. I didn't realize that. So I would have never known that had I kept all these nine to fivers. No shade to nine to fivers. [00:55:37] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:55:37] Speaker B: No, we need them. We need them. [00:55:39] Speaker A: We need them. [00:55:40] Speaker B: But they could have never given me that feedback. And I was like, oh, this is normal in this type of world. [00:55:44] Speaker A: That's right. [00:55:45] Speaker B: Going out there, being very intentional with the relationships that you build, that will be helpful for you, that will be helpful in your growth, but also being very mindful, like, we don't use people here. So when you're creating these relationships, you better make sure you know how to also bring value to them. [00:55:59] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well said. And, and that was part of my, my question that, that I was going to follow up with, which is related to the habits that you formed in your life. So I already hear, you know, the habit of being intentional about, about the relationships you build. So both the intention and building relationship and also the right relationships, the, the ones that, that are meant to serve you, but also for you to serve them. So this is this mutual desire to, to, to, to be in some helpful, progressive, supportive, which also means shedding relationships that are contrary to those things. Yeah, right. Yeah. So full audit. Every even, you know, I, I either read or heard many, many years ago this act of deleting all your contacts. Now I would never do that today in that I been more intentional about my relationship. You know, but in your younger years, and maybe for some of our, our, our younger viewers, try this out just for size. If you believe you haven't spent a lot of time forging intentional relationships or those that are meaningful in your life, delete your contacts or archive them, storm somewhere. You don't have to delete them, just archive them, store them, storm somewhere and, and get, get really silent with yourself and with your phone. [00:57:36] Speaker B: Yep. [00:57:37] Speaker A: And look out for who over the course of one week, two week, three weeks actually, reaches out to you for a change and expresses any interest or concern about your status, how you're doing, where you are in your life. What. You will be surprised. Now, granted, there are circumstances that may influence frequency outreach. Oh, I got friends at International. Yeah, I, you know, they, they'll take all those factors in consideration. If the norm is that they reach out to you once a month, then fine, yeah, that's the cadence of relationship. [00:58:11] Speaker B: Then it's consistent. I can deal with it. [00:58:12] Speaker A: But you'll find you'll be surprised how many relationships or contacts you have versus True. [00:58:20] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [00:58:21] Speaker A: Supporters, advocates, friends and family. You'll find yourself really filtering and cleansing with the, to give yourself the psychological, the mental, the physical capacity to now forge the new relationships. [00:58:39] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:58:40] Speaker A: Because sometimes we're like, if I, I can't go to another networking event. I can't. I don't have the space that. But that's because you're carrying a lot of weight on relationships or connections that are dead. Weight is the same thing in the sales process, right? [00:58:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:56] Speaker A: How many of these opportunities are real? [00:58:58] Speaker B: Yeah. And how many opportunities and relationships are you chasing? [00:59:01] Speaker A: Yes. [00:59:02] Speaker B: Chasing. [00:59:02] Speaker A: Are you chasing them? [00:59:03] Speaker B: It's exhausting. [00:59:04] Speaker A: So when you stop calling them, did you ever. Did they ever blink to think about calling you? [00:59:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:10] Speaker A: So anyway, just a side note of some tips or some habits to, to. To start to be more intentional about the relationships we form that promote this authentic version of ourselves and what that actually means. [00:59:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:24] Speaker A: Coming up, I'm going to have April share some an unfiltered takeaway. You know, the one truth that she believes every leader must hold on to in order to succeed as their most authentic version of themselves in a world otherwise obsessed with the images that people project. Stay tuned. [00:59:53] Speaker B: Foreign. [00:59:58] Speaker A: Leadership isn't just glossy headlines and Perfect wins. I'm Dr. Dante Vaughn, business strategist, culture architect, guide to leaders who want more than status. On Everyday Leaders Unfiltered, we bring you honest conversations about what's happening behind the curtain. The real setbacks, real pivots, real growth from culture shifts to personal mastery, from trust crises to team turnarounds. This is where leaders get raw, real, and ready. Everyday Leaders Unfiltered premieres soon on NOW Media Television. Because a leader who's unfiltered might just become unforgettable. Foreign. We're back with April Williams for the closing segment, the heart of today's conversation. This is where we uncover the truth many leaders avoid. You cannot lead others if you're not willing to show up as your authentic self. That is the reality. The greatest capacity that we have as leaders is when we show up as the most authentic version of ourselves in order to provide the most authentic leadership of others. Viewers want to be authentic but fear the judgment and the loss of opportunities that come with what they believe to be their most authentic selves. They hide behind this polished image and. And even when their heart longs for the authentic connection, they struggle with it. So, April, I want to guide our final conversation with. You know, what's one message that you could leave every viewer to remember about what it means to be real and authentic in a world that otherwise puts on facades? And it's full of the pressure to align with an image that may not be what is their truest version of themselves. [01:02:08] Speaker B: I want to start off by saying you are going to be your most likable self when you're authentic, just bottom line. Because if your fear is not being liked or being rejected, which we all have to be okay with being rejected because it's a part of life, you're going to continue being rejected out of certain situations. And I think rejection and a lot of situations, most situations, actually probably all situations is healthy. It's. There are ways to have you pivot, but the more you are authentic, the more likable that you are. My takeaway is keep yourself healthy. I think people really sleep on taking care of themselves. And so I know for me to show up for my clients, which I absolutely adore and I enjoy working for them and I have to. My promise to them is to show up as my best self, which means I need to get my sleep. I gotta be very mindful of what I'm putting into my body. I have to be very intentional about my workouts and I realize when I'm. And all three of those are very strong, I'm my most clear minded self and it makes me so much capable to be there for others. And so my tip is get up early. And when I say I am not a morning person, people don't believe me. I got up at 3:30 this morning just to come here to record this because I wanted to get my workout in my meditation and all of that and I struggled. I've been waking up 4 o' clock in the morning for the last few years and I struggle every single morning. But to be able to have that time for me, to pour into me in order to give myself to the rest of the world in the afternoon, the evening has always been worth it. And so stop sleeping in. Especially if you're, if you have goals to execute, especially if you're trying to start your own thing. Especially if you're on the mission to connect with new people and build relationships like that, you know, waking up early I think is slept on. Be able just to find your peace. Because a lot of the time throughout the day we're giving so much of ourselves to other people, to our businesses, to our family and people want to say, oh, I will take care of some me time at the end of the day. The end of the day you almost want to numb yourself. Like it's so hard to take care of you when you're exhausted and you've already given so much of yourself to the world. [01:04:26] Speaker A: Yes. [01:04:27] Speaker B: That at that time I just want to numb. I want to sit on the couch for a little bit before bedtime and just kind of go Numb and not think of too much. Whereas when I wake up early, I truly get to pour into myself. And so whether that is working out, whether that's eating, whether it's reading, I'm such a nerd. I'm usually reading about three books time. Like, I love to read. People sleep on. You talk about having the vocabulary to communicate who you are and communicate your needs. [01:04:53] Speaker A: Good. [01:04:54] Speaker B: And I think that boils down to all of this as far as being authentic. You can't be as authentic as you want to be unless you know what your needs are and you know how to communicate your needs. So study yourself. [01:05:05] Speaker A: I love that. Study yourself. Pour into yourself. That's a part of that authenticity journey. Yeah, I love that. What do you wish someone had told you at some point in your life that maybe expedited this journey you're on now, equipped you earlier in your life, whatever that may look like? What do you wish someone had told you? [01:05:34] Speaker B: Oh, a couple of things. And I don't believe in. I'm not a regretful person. I'm not. [01:05:39] Speaker A: Neither am I. I'm very much. [01:05:40] Speaker B: Everything I learned from it. [01:05:41] Speaker A: Everything is like, oh, it's purposeful in where I am right now. [01:05:45] Speaker B: But if you could. [01:05:46] Speaker A: If you could. [01:05:47] Speaker B: Yeah, it probably would be a couple of things. Knowing that it's okay to change careers, it's perfectly natural to say, I no longer like what I'm doing. I want to try something different, despite the amount of schooling, because I have two degrees that I no longer use. And I shouldn't say that because the skill set that I've gotten for my college experience, I'm still using it. [01:06:05] Speaker A: That's right. [01:06:07] Speaker B: Still paying my student loans back. That's probably another thing, too. I probably would have been a little bit more mindful about finances when I was younger. And that specifically is like the student loans. Because I think I could have approached college. And granted, I went to a pretty private, expensive college, I could have approached that differently. So maybe made better financial decisions when it came to my college choice. And knowing not everything lasts forever. And it's okay to come to the end of the road and decide I want something new. And don't be fearful of it, because it is gonna feel scary. But you do it while you're scared. [01:06:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. I love that it's okay to pivot. It's okay to come to the end of the road of one thing in order to start a new road that may take you to a level that you never even foresaw for yourself. [01:07:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Which Requires a tremendous amount of letting something go. So don't be scared to let something go. [01:07:10] Speaker A: So, so, so, so as our viewers are on this pursuit, what's one question that our viewers should ask themselves to pulse check or gut check? Am I being real? Am I being. Or am I just being on brand? [01:07:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Check your body. We will talk. Your body doesn't lie. Our bodies, our physical bodies are more intelligent than our actual brains. And so check the way your body feels after a conversation. Check the way your body feels after you get to your car after work. Like, you know what it feels like to be authentic. Because some people have the privilege to be very authentic with their family. Some don't, but some do. Some have the privilege of being very authentic with their friends. And so when you're leaving a workplace or leaving a work conversation, check the way your body feels. You know, when you feel tense, you know, when you didn't feel right, you know, like there's, you can tell when you start to learn yourself in your body, you know, what self betrayal feels like. [01:08:12] Speaker A: That's good. [01:08:13] Speaker B: So check with your body and say. And sit with it. You got to be quiet for a second. But after that intense or that uncomfortable conversation you've had at the workplace, check with your body. Was I real? Was I, you know, was I respectful? Was I authentic? [01:08:28] Speaker A: I, I, I'm, you know, just ecstatic at many of the points that, that you've emphasized as our viewers start to self reflect and internalize what this means. Because to your point, the physiological impact to what we're experiencing in our lives is real. And even down to our own health challenges. How much is rooted in our. In, in, in, in the inauthentic version of ourselves actually walking this earth. [01:09:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:11] Speaker A: And in the strain it puts on us. [01:09:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:14] Speaker A: That manifest in immune complications and, and, and muscular complications, let alone our mental health. [01:09:23] Speaker B: Mental health. [01:09:26] Speaker A: So, oh, my goodness, let alone not even just about, you know, the workplace, but just all of the implications of what this really means and the work that's, that's required for us to just live better. [01:09:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:39] Speaker A: Be the better version and the intentional version of our existence on this earth. [01:09:46] Speaker B: And nobody can do that for you. No, that's the trick. Nobody can do it for you. [01:09:50] Speaker A: No one can do it for you. And it's no one's fault. [01:09:52] Speaker B: Right. Yeah. [01:09:54] Speaker A: I'm just. April, thank you so much for bringing such honest, you know, deep and courageous conversation to the table, because I think it's necessary. This conversation is necessary. And I think your story reminds us that you Know, leadership and even our existence on this earth in general has never been about perspective, perfection. It's been about presence. [01:10:21] Speaker B: Yes, right, yeah. [01:10:23] Speaker A: And, and, and, and I've, I've always said, and let me retract that I've come to understand now the power of our existence has less to do about all the things that we personally assemble and, and, and compile or accomplish the accolades. It's more about the impact in how we're able to show up in the lives of others and have a positive influence in the lives of others, which requires the connection. And those connections are strengthened through, and the correct connections are made when you are the most authentic version of yourself, good, bad or indifferent. Yeah, I, I heard this and saying and, or kind of statement and it still resonates with me. And that is a tree that bears fruit does not consume its own fruit to survive. Now there's some things that fall off the tree that nourish the ground, and then there, then the fruits of that nourishment then feeds the tree. But the fruit, fruit in and of itself is not for the tree. It's for those that consume it around it. Right. So, so first of all, our gifts are not for us. No. We spend so much. It's meant to share. And then, by the way, an apple tree can't be an orange tree. The power of the apple has to do with the apple. Those who are meant to eat apples will be drawn to the apple. Stop trying to be the orange tree. [01:12:04] Speaker B: The apple tree that you are, the [01:12:05] Speaker A: apple tree that you are. [01:12:07] Speaker B: People need apples, people want apples. [01:12:09] Speaker A: And the people who don't want apples, you don't get apples. And the reality is in that. Yes. Are there blessings that come from your fruit? Yes. And it's not direct. It comes through the nourishment of the ground that's laid around you and where you dig your roots, which means the relationships you form, the habits that you form, the things that nourish you, that feed you are still necessary. But understand that that's just for you to build more fruit to feed others. Right. And I think that's a embodiment of our human existence. But it doesn't mean that I should be walking around trying to be an orange tree. [01:12:48] Speaker B: Nope. If you're an apple tree. [01:12:49] Speaker A: If you're an apple tree, be an apple tree. If you're an orange tree, be an orange tree. And, and, and, and oh my goodness, how refreshing that may feel over time, but it takes work. [01:12:58] Speaker B: It does, it does. And it takes a lot of knowing in Your gut, that. That gut check again. Did I do my best? You know when you didn't do your best? [01:13:06] Speaker A: Yes. [01:13:06] Speaker B: You know that feeling? [01:13:07] Speaker A: Yes. [01:13:07] Speaker B: You don't have to have anyone else. [01:13:08] Speaker A: So, like, yeah, spot on. I think it's about showing up as your whole self, even when the world expects this curated version of you. [01:13:15] Speaker B: Absolutely. [01:13:16] Speaker A: Show up as your whole self. [01:13:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:13:18] Speaker A: With that being said, for everyone watching, I hope today's conversation gives you permission to breathe deeper, to lead with truth, and to recognize that authenticity is not a weakness. In fact, it's your greatest strength. Remember, strong leaders in your lives, personally or professionally, aren't built from polished surfaces. They're built from real stories, real struggles, and real humanity. [01:13:44] Speaker B: I just wanted to thank you so much for having me on this because you've been probably one of the most consistent hustlers that I've known. Thank you. Since the day that we met, you've been very. Just on top of what it is that you want to do, the impact that you want to make. I. I just. I've been incredibly inspired by you. Thank you. And just again, your consistency and keeping our relationship going. I like how you network. I like how you stay connected. I love how you have just designed your life outside of being a nine to fiver. So thank you for allowing me, or I guess continuing to give myself permission that you're someone I look to. So I'm just like, if he's going to keep doing it, I can too. [01:14:23] Speaker A: Let's go. [01:14:24] Speaker B: And so I'm very. Just proud of you. [01:14:26] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:14:26] Speaker B: I'm very proud of everything you've done. I'm very proud of this. And I think you're going to continue to impact more and more people. And, yeah, just keep. Keep doing what you're doing. [01:14:36] Speaker A: I appreciate you, April. Thanks so much. Thank you for being my supporter and advocate as well. So we're in it together. [01:14:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Awesome. [01:14:44] Speaker A: Thank you so much. Until next time, stay grounded. Stay. Stay courageous and stay unfiltered.